Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
