Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
