4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
