I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
