Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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