The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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