god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
