We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
