I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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