U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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