I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
