He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
