Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
