Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
