who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
