I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
