what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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