if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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