people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
