I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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