So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
