Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
