Porn is love you can see.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
