so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
