This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
