so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
