Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
