I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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