i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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