I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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