so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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