Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
