i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
