We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
only you would photoshop your dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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