i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
