You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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