I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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