Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Drunk is not a location!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
