I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
