She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I have tasted many bathrooms
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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