Cold hands, warm shart.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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