I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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