hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize