Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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