his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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