I don't remember. Are we still dating?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
