I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
