My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
