You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
