hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
