Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
