the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
