I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
