Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
