I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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