I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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