your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
