in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
