Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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