I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
