HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
