i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
