You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
