last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize