I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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