We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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