I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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