I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
