She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
