life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
